=EthanRobson

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I want my old self back

Journal Entry: Sat Jul 4, 2009, 9:39 PM

Now I was in the middle of reorganizing my room to fit in some sort of studio setup. I’ve now got an area the size of a small Hammond organ for working in, potentially more but I might wait to move my desk and see how this works. Funny thing though, I’ve spent about 2 hours listening to Regina Spektor thanks to a carefully placed link on facebook instead of cleaning...

Does anyone want a Hammond organ? Only cost me $100, would have preferred a fucked piano to play...

But hey, don’t ask me why but I stopped really listening to music and playing music for quite a while, this confuses me stupid because I really have a huge passion for music, but something killed it off for me, occasionally I get shreds of that feeling I had back but then it just fades away, Regina Spektor was one of the lucky ones, I think found it back for the moment... Thank you Dave!

Isolation
I’ve sadly lost a lot of love for some things now, friends who come off emotionally retarded and immature have killed a lot of things for me. I need a holiday away from here, for a long time. I officially have no mates (apart from the internetz) I can turn to, or just have as mates.

Something sporting perhaps?
I’ve put the Honda up for sale with the intention of purchasing another bike more suitable and fun to learn on. I’m looking at something heavy, sporty something that will suit a relatively tall person. I really did the wrong thing buying such a basic bike, with the fear put into me by others I went out to get the most bland thing I could find and it’s not what I wanted! I was also made aware of the fact that I always seem to protect myself from things that really aren’t a problem! So much self preservation that I cut off fun all together!

I’m so fucking uninspired right now
Really I am, have you noticed? This is one of the worst either blocks or whatever it is I’ve ever had! I’m really bloody depressed and my art takes a huge dive, what a supprise.

I need what ever it is I had back

You WILL Look at these featured people!!!

[link]

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=kanokus Jul 5, 2009, 11:25:15 AM

Sometimes it just takes a rather large downtime, block, depression or just a period without motivation to put things back into perspective. When I have time between shoots where I am constantly at work and not taking pictures I find myself going through old folders of photos to get me motivated again. It seems that for me the ways that I used to see things in the photos that I took give me key areas to pick up on and try to change, which gets me back out taking pictures trying to improve and find my own style. This is just a remedy that I found that works out for me. You may be uninspired right now but just keep in mind that your photos inspire other people. Just hang in there.

--
"I Feel Like A Guy Who Cant Swim, But Just Didn't Drown."
"Sometimes good bye is a second chance."

=EthanRobson Jul 7, 2009, 2:08:17 AM

Maybe I denied the downtime or expected too much of myself? Feels like it’s been a month and a half now, only can shoot tiny little bits.

I actually went through a lot of my old photos the other day with the intention of updating some with the skills I’ve learnt in that large period of time and it was great to have a look at how far I’d progressed and how much I need to improve! Still even that felt like a huge ask of me...

Oh and I can’t wait too see the photo’s from Formula Drift !